I have said many times in the past that I am prone to times of
'over-emotion'. I cry at the smallest things; acts of kindness, sappy
commercials, stupid movies, touching songs. I have always had in my
personality the ability, or disability as the case may be, to empathize
with people in any given situation. The past week those traits have
taken their toll on me and I now feel completely and utterly battered
to the point of exhaustion. I feel I have come to my cross roads and a
choice will have to be made.
The schoolhouse shootings in a little Amish community in Nickle Mines,
PA has brought me to my knees. I have cried several times over the
events that took place last week in that quiet schoolhouse. I know now
what it is when pure evil assaults pure innocence. And lest you should
ever doubt the presence of evil, look no farther than the events of
that day. Hugo Chavez, the underwhelming leader of Venezuela, called
President Bush, 'the devil'. He wishes that were the case. I'm afraid
Mr. Chavez will one day get the opportunity of meeting said devil and
I'm sure he'll wonder what he was thinking. No, you see the devil went
to Nickle Mines, PA and assaulted the mind of Charles Roberts; a little
man.
I have no earthly comprehension of what it takes for a man to shoot 10
little girls, killing at least 5 of them. I have nothing in me that
can possibly relate to just how depraved a man has to get to be able to
look into the eyes of a small angel and pull the trigger. There is
nothing within my knowledge of this universe that will ever satisfy my
question as to how he could have planned to rape 10 little girls. When
I picture that scene I see this vile human in the presence of
innocence. I see pure darkness in him and around him. I can see
demons whispering taunts in his ear. 'Do it!' 'You're worthless!'
'Kill them!' 'Coward!' I can see a cloud of fire circling above that
schoolhouse as a battle in the spirit world takes place. Forces bent
on causing death, destruction and ultimate fear are everywhere. They
are rejoicing that this weak, little man is now in their clutches and
is about to terrorize and destroy 10 little angels. They see victory.
It is the ultimate picture of evil tormenting good.
Then something happens. In the midst of total fear and evil; of
darkness and sexual perversion, one of the angels speaks. Knowing now
what the intentions are of this little man, she says something that
will forever change me; and if it doesn't than I am truly
unchangeable. She looks evil in the eye and says without hesitation,
"Shoot me first." Shoot me first? What? This from the lips of a 13
year old angel? Surely see will beg for her life. Surely she will
offer the man whatever he wants just so she can live. What about her
parents and friends? What about all her dreams of making it in this
world. She has so much to live for. Fight! Run! But.... 'Shoot me
first'.
This causes evil to recoil a bit. There seems to be no panic among the
angels. This can't be. How can this be? She doesn't know what she's
saying. Any minute they will all be screaming to live. But then
there's another voice. 'Shoot me second'. The screech of every evil
principality can be heard. 'NO!' Yet another angel, one only 8 years
old has offered herself to the little man. It seems that evil has once
again underestimated true faith. It seems that evil has never
understood those who are true in their faith and in the comfort that
Jesus gives them. These two girls were willing to be shot first and
then second as to buy just a bit more time for the others. And shot
they were. Defeated? Destroyed? I think not. I think God knows that
those little angels showed more faith and courage than any preacher
I've seen on TV lately.
You would think that anyone rational would be so moved at this display
of faith and sacrifice that they would instantly put down their weapon
and repent. But not the little man. No, he proceeded to shoot all 10
girls. Then the little man said, 'Pray for me' and shot himself to
complete
his ultimate act of cowardliness. Would it be that I get one day off
my life to be
able to go into the pits of hell and deal angry blows to this little
man. Vengeance. Justice. To harm the hair on one of these little
angels..... Oh to see him punished
The God raises His hand to me and says, 'I got this one'.
But with the first shots fired at the first two girls, it seems that he
wasn't able to have the time to 'make sure' all the girls were dead by
the time to police began to break through the windows. Did their act
of faith and sacrifice save some of the others? I believe it did.
"Shoot me first"... I'll never forget those words.
I have come now to fully realize just how false my faith is. I would
scowl at anyone that would dare call me a follower of Christ.
Everything in my actions on a daily basis says nothing of my faith but
simply that I am as nominal as they come. I don't raise my children to
have this sort of courage in Christ. In many ways I weep because I
feel like I'm partly to blame for what led to the little man killing
these angels. I support violence by what I watch. I support sexual
perversion by what I watch. I support despair because I do nothing to
encourage those around me. In many ways, I am the shooter.... we all
are. I am a little man.
How long will we be ok with this? How long will we be fine with the
fact that our faith means nothing to anyone, not even to us? You see,
I believe that I could change lives. I think God has gifted me in
areas of ministry and yet I would rather make more money to buy more
crap and have more bills. You see the Amish are so close to what I
think we are supposed to actually be like. They truly live in the
world but they are not of the world. Do you know that they invited the
little man's family to the funerals of the girls as a way of saying,
'we love you. You are our family and we forgive you'. Do you know
that they went to the parents of the little man and stayed for an hour
and held them as they said, 'we forgive all'. Are you serious? Never
again will anyone mock the Amish in my presence. They are the real
deal and those like me are the lukewarm church that will be spewed out
by God.
As I sat on the train tonight I wept. I had to hide my face from my
engineer because I was just too overwhelmed. As I listened to a song
by Keith Green called 'Your love broke through' , I was having a
'dream-like' sequence with God. In my dream I was running and yelling
to God:
"How long will you search for me God? How long will you look for me in
the muck and the mire? With every choice of road, I leave the straight
and narrow and go my own way. Here I am, I am in the swamps of life.
Can you even see me for my filth? Have I not even the faith of a child
that you would even acknowledge me? Am I truly too far gone; too far
lost? Oh God what will it take for you to find me again? Why is the
world so defeating me and all around me? Are we all too far gone?
Have you left us to evil?"
The Lord says with thundering calm, "Geoff, I am right here. I need
not find you, because I have never left you. Run as you might, stumble
though you may, you will never be out of my reach. Come what may, I
am. Go where you may, I am. Hide though you may, I am. I am.... I
am. Never will I leave you or forsake you. All you have to do is have
faith. The faith of a child."
I don't know what becomes of emotions like mine. I don't know what
choices and decisions I will make. Will anything change? How hard
will it be? Can I do it? No, I can't. Only God can.
'Shoot me first'.
Here's a link to Keith Green's song, Your love broke through
'over-emotion'. I cry at the smallest things; acts of kindness, sappy
commercials, stupid movies, touching songs. I have always had in my
personality the ability, or disability as the case may be, to empathize
with people in any given situation. The past week those traits have
taken their toll on me and I now feel completely and utterly battered
to the point of exhaustion. I feel I have come to my cross roads and a
choice will have to be made.
The schoolhouse shootings in a little Amish community in Nickle Mines,
PA has brought me to my knees. I have cried several times over the
events that took place last week in that quiet schoolhouse. I know now
what it is when pure evil assaults pure innocence. And lest you should
ever doubt the presence of evil, look no farther than the events of
that day. Hugo Chavez, the underwhelming leader of Venezuela, called
President Bush, 'the devil'. He wishes that were the case. I'm afraid
Mr. Chavez will one day get the opportunity of meeting said devil and
I'm sure he'll wonder what he was thinking. No, you see the devil went
to Nickle Mines, PA and assaulted the mind of Charles Roberts; a little
man.
I have no earthly comprehension of what it takes for a man to shoot 10
little girls, killing at least 5 of them. I have nothing in me that
can possibly relate to just how depraved a man has to get to be able to
look into the eyes of a small angel and pull the trigger. There is
nothing within my knowledge of this universe that will ever satisfy my
question as to how he could have planned to rape 10 little girls. When
I picture that scene I see this vile human in the presence of
innocence. I see pure darkness in him and around him. I can see
demons whispering taunts in his ear. 'Do it!' 'You're worthless!'
'Kill them!' 'Coward!' I can see a cloud of fire circling above that
schoolhouse as a battle in the spirit world takes place. Forces bent
on causing death, destruction and ultimate fear are everywhere. They
are rejoicing that this weak, little man is now in their clutches and
is about to terrorize and destroy 10 little angels. They see victory.
It is the ultimate picture of evil tormenting good.
Then something happens. In the midst of total fear and evil; of
darkness and sexual perversion, one of the angels speaks. Knowing now
what the intentions are of this little man, she says something that
will forever change me; and if it doesn't than I am truly
unchangeable. She looks evil in the eye and says without hesitation,
"Shoot me first." Shoot me first? What? This from the lips of a 13
year old angel? Surely see will beg for her life. Surely she will
offer the man whatever he wants just so she can live. What about her
parents and friends? What about all her dreams of making it in this
world. She has so much to live for. Fight! Run! But.... 'Shoot me
first'.
This causes evil to recoil a bit. There seems to be no panic among the
angels. This can't be. How can this be? She doesn't know what she's
saying. Any minute they will all be screaming to live. But then
there's another voice. 'Shoot me second'. The screech of every evil
principality can be heard. 'NO!' Yet another angel, one only 8 years
old has offered herself to the little man. It seems that evil has once
again underestimated true faith. It seems that evil has never
understood those who are true in their faith and in the comfort that
Jesus gives them. These two girls were willing to be shot first and
then second as to buy just a bit more time for the others. And shot
they were. Defeated? Destroyed? I think not. I think God knows that
those little angels showed more faith and courage than any preacher
I've seen on TV lately.
You would think that anyone rational would be so moved at this display
of faith and sacrifice that they would instantly put down their weapon
and repent. But not the little man. No, he proceeded to shoot all 10
girls. Then the little man said, 'Pray for me' and shot himself to
complete
his ultimate act of cowardliness. Would it be that I get one day off
my life to be
able to go into the pits of hell and deal angry blows to this little
man. Vengeance. Justice. To harm the hair on one of these little
angels..... Oh to see him punished
The God raises His hand to me and says, 'I got this one'.
But with the first shots fired at the first two girls, it seems that he
wasn't able to have the time to 'make sure' all the girls were dead by
the time to police began to break through the windows. Did their act
of faith and sacrifice save some of the others? I believe it did.
"Shoot me first"... I'll never forget those words.
I have come now to fully realize just how false my faith is. I would
scowl at anyone that would dare call me a follower of Christ.
Everything in my actions on a daily basis says nothing of my faith but
simply that I am as nominal as they come. I don't raise my children to
have this sort of courage in Christ. In many ways I weep because I
feel like I'm partly to blame for what led to the little man killing
these angels. I support violence by what I watch. I support sexual
perversion by what I watch. I support despair because I do nothing to
encourage those around me. In many ways, I am the shooter.... we all
are. I am a little man.
How long will we be ok with this? How long will we be fine with the
fact that our faith means nothing to anyone, not even to us? You see,
I believe that I could change lives. I think God has gifted me in
areas of ministry and yet I would rather make more money to buy more
crap and have more bills. You see the Amish are so close to what I
think we are supposed to actually be like. They truly live in the
world but they are not of the world. Do you know that they invited the
little man's family to the funerals of the girls as a way of saying,
'we love you. You are our family and we forgive you'. Do you know
that they went to the parents of the little man and stayed for an hour
and held them as they said, 'we forgive all'. Are you serious? Never
again will anyone mock the Amish in my presence. They are the real
deal and those like me are the lukewarm church that will be spewed out
by God.
As I sat on the train tonight I wept. I had to hide my face from my
engineer because I was just too overwhelmed. As I listened to a song
by Keith Green called 'Your love broke through' , I was having a
'dream-like' sequence with God. In my dream I was running and yelling
to God:
"How long will you search for me God? How long will you look for me in
the muck and the mire? With every choice of road, I leave the straight
and narrow and go my own way. Here I am, I am in the swamps of life.
Can you even see me for my filth? Have I not even the faith of a child
that you would even acknowledge me? Am I truly too far gone; too far
lost? Oh God what will it take for you to find me again? Why is the
world so defeating me and all around me? Are we all too far gone?
Have you left us to evil?"
The Lord says with thundering calm, "Geoff, I am right here. I need
not find you, because I have never left you. Run as you might, stumble
though you may, you will never be out of my reach. Come what may, I
am. Go where you may, I am. Hide though you may, I am. I am.... I
am. Never will I leave you or forsake you. All you have to do is have
faith. The faith of a child."
I don't know what becomes of emotions like mine. I don't know what
choices and decisions I will make. Will anything change? How hard
will it be? Can I do it? No, I can't. Only God can.
'Shoot me first'.
Here's a link to Keith Green's song, Your love broke through
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