This summer I had to deal with a question that all Christians face not just once in awhile, but almost daily. It's a question that has been so oft asked that it now runs the risk of almost falling into the category of 'milk or sugar?'. Konnie and I made the decision last spring that we would once again try and sell our houses and move from Pratt to somewhere closer to Wichita, where I have worked for the past 8 years. It seems like the decision should have been very easy when one considers that I have been driving about 166 miles round trip for 5-6 days a week for the past 5 years. My car, a 2004 VW Jetta, racked up an impressive 72,000 miles since May of '04. Added to the mix is the greed of oil execs around the globe (ok, maybe it's just the fair market system), and I was paying another house payment in gas. So, you would think on the surface that it was obvious that we should move.
But on closer inspection you would find the following details in the 'pro-Pratt' position:
1. It is the life long home of my wife.
2. My oldest son, Kaden, loved his school.
3. We lived right across the street from a park
4. We have great friends in the town and nearby
5. Small town living ain't so bad these days
6. The local Chinese Buffet is smokin' good
I'm a glass-half-empty kind of guy. I don't know why I'm this way, but I'm pretty convinced that any decision I make is going to explode all over me and lead me to the conclusion that once again, 'I blew it'. I started wondering in all of this, 'what is God's will for me in the move? Does He want me to stay or should we move closer to Wichita? Maybe I should quit the Railroad and go back into ministry' (Once can pause at this moment and question me as to why I can't minister on the Railroad and you would have not only asked a valid question but exposed the flaw in 'ministry as a career').
One night I was at my friend Seth Roe's house. It was late and I was getting ready to leave. We were standing in his driveway under a beautiful starry sky pondering the things of God. You tend to ponder 'things of God' when you take some time to realize just how awesome his creation is. I began to talk with Seth about my quandary and something hit me. In asking God what is it that He would have me do, I got a funny answer. I could almost hear Him saying, 'What's it matter?'. Huh? 'You mean that I have free reign to do as I please?', I wondered aloud. God answers back, 'What do I care if you live in Pratt, Wichita, North Carolina, Kenya or Goddard, KS?' I felt a little 'put off' by the Big Guy. I mean how does He say 'What do I care?' Of course God is supposed to care. 'You're supposed to care God, that 's what you do'. God rephrases His point as it becomes obvious to him that I'm as bright as a 40 watt bulb and I don't read enough. 'What I mean is this; if I don't have your heart, your mind, your soul, your dreams, your loves, your sadness, your body, your time, your family, your money, your talents, your desires, and so on, what does it matter to Me where you live? Geoff, until I have you, it matters not where you are or what you are doing. We'll make the best use of it, no doubt, but what my will really is, is to Have You!'
I think we all do this. We are so consumed with what we are doing in life and where we live and what we have or don't have, who our friends are or are not, where we go to school, what church we attend, etc. that we have lost the bigger point about 'God's Will'. I heard a great story about Mother Teresa and the funny thing is, I can't remember it as I type this. (These are real time blogs people, nothing is researched) :-) But I think it was basically like this.
A man went to work with MT (As I always called her) and she asked the young man how should she pray for him. He said, 'That I am doing God's Will by being here'. She said, 'Heavens no I won't pray that'. 'Why not', the man asked puzzled by her answer. 'Look at this place. Do you think I hope it's God's Will for me that I am here? Perhaps His will is that I'm somewhere even worse. What I pray is that God will use me wherever I am.'
I'm sure I butchered that story, but this version works as well.
We moved to Goddard and sold one of our two houses and are in the process of trying to sell the other. I didn't quit the Railroad and I'm not preaching anywhere but in this blog. I don't know if this is where I should be, but I do know that until I'm God's Man, it doesn't matter. My goal it to be 'God's Man' in Goddard, KS and we'll see the results of that when it happens. You may not be where you think you are supposed to be, but if God doesn't own all of you, what's it matter? God's will, I think, is really much simpler than the theologians an authors have stated. I think every time you read, 'Love your neighbors', you are reading God's will for your life. Every time you see the words, '..do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than clothes?' you are seeing God's will. When you read James speaking of 'true religion being that which helps the widows and orphans', you are reading God's will for your church. I know that what I try to do is to make things so complicated that it removes the pressure on me to make a choice. If the choice is too hard, then I shouldn't have to feel bad that I couldn't get it done. I no longer have that excuse when it comes to 'God's Will'. It's really very simple. I'm either all His or I'm not. I'm either trying to live a better life in accordance to his Will, or I'm not. I either share Christ with others at work, or I don't. I either lead my household spiritually, or I decide to remain obsequious to my own desires. This is the path of knowing 'God's Will'. So before you ask Him what his will is about a matter, you should first check and see if you are His first. Because until that question can be answered in the affirmative you may find He will answer you the way He did me: 'What's it matter?'
